


It Is Not Enough (To Be Dumbstruck)

by A_Tomb_With_A_View



Category: Julie and The Phantoms (TV)
Genre: Alex has anxiety, Alex has panic attacks, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Everyone worships Julie Molina, M/M, Reggie has fibromyalgia (referenced), TW: Panic Attacks, TW: idk if kissing someone during a panic attack, TW: mishandled panic attacks, but it’s talked about, but they do, but they’re protective of Alex, is assault or whatnot, its Not explicit bc I couldn’t think of a way to shoehorn it in, protective! Luke Patterson, protective! Sunset curve, psa: don’t kiss people during panic attacks, the boys know this subconsciously, willie is awesome
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-21
Updated: 2020-11-21
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:16:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,777
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27653984
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/A_Tomb_With_A_View/pseuds/A_Tomb_With_A_View
Summary: If someone asked, later, Luke would say he trusted Willie with Alex off the bat.And, he kind of did.In some ways.With certain parts of Alex.
Relationships: Alex & Bobby | Trevor Wilson & Julie Molina & Luke Patterson & Reggie, Alex & Bobby | Trevor Wilson & Luke Patterson & Reggie, Alex & Luke Patterson & Reggie & Willie (Julie and The Phantoms), Alex/Willie (Julie and The Phantoms), Alex/original male character, Julie Molina/Luke Patterson
Comments: 47
Kudos: 394





	It Is Not Enough (To Be Dumbstruck)

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this between the hours of like 10pm and 2am because I saw something romanticising anxiety and I was too confrontation-averse to message the person bc what if I couldn’t communicate properly and came across nitpicky or wasn’t taken seriously because I’m actually horrible at talking to people, so... here we are?????  
> Might be horrible rep of someone being talked to healthily during a panic attack bc I tend to deal with them by myself but I tried so it’s a rough guesstimate of how I’d probably like someone to talk to me during a panic attack based on the one usher who tried when I got yelled at during Hamilton lol  
> Anyways, this hasn’t been beta’d and it’s more for my own personal amusement than anything but enjoy ig??

If someone asked, later, Luke would say he trusted Willie with Alex off the bat. 

And, he kind of did. 

In some ways.

With certain parts of Alex. 

Willie could be trusted to calm Alex with light touches and calm words, could be trusted to hype him up for performances that made him nervous, could be trusted to have him back to the garage by eleven, could be trusted not to get jealous when Alex decided Reggie’s weight or Luke’s constant movement was more comforting. 

But, Alex’s panic attacks were nothing like Luke had ever seen on tv or in the movies, and it had taken the four of them so long to figure out how to deal with them, and really their current plan of action was to grab Ray or Julie, who could pretty consistently get Alex back to a verbal level, even if he still needed to spend the rest of the day alone, and Alex hadn’t always had the best experiences with people trying to pull him out of panic attacks. So, really, it wasn’t even a Willie thing. Luke trusted four people in the world around Alex besides himself when he was panicking, and Reggie and Bobby knew as well as he did to default to the Molinas and their experience from Julie’s own panic attacks. 

He still remembered Alex in the weeks after his second boyfriend, Tim or Tom or something equally basic, had kissed him during a panic attack, as some sort of grounding attempt or a similar bollocksy excuse. He remembered not really understanding why that was a problem, until Alex explained a few days later, amidst a battle against insomnia, that it just felt so intrusive and suffocating and  _ Jesus fuck I was hyperventilating, Luke, why would he try to kiss me?  _

He remembered Alex flinching every time someone even offered a hand when he was starting to get anxious, like he was afraid they’d cover his mouth, remembered how his exhausted expression when he finally got around to breaking up with Terry or Tyler, remembered how broken his voice had sounded when he’d cut through all of TJ or Toby’s excuses about  _ baby that’s what they do on tv  _ and  _ c’mon Alex I was just trying to make you feel good  _ and  _ you’re really going to break up with me because you got weird and I didn’t know how to deal with it?  _ With a simple “My first instinct was to bite your tongue off. So if you don’t learn and think it’s romantic to deal with my next panic attack by sticking it down my throat again, are you going to brush it off when you’re getting it stitched back on?” 

So, he didn’t trust Willie with that part of Alex, not straight away. None of them did. 

——

Reggie took to Willie first, because he threw himself into anything Alex loved with his full heart, and he knew the most about just wanting to feel normal after some visible change. 

Willie melted immediately at Reggie’s bright smiles and nervous questions, and spent almost as much time with him as he did with Alex, which was the first indicator for Bobby and Luke that they could begin to ease up on the poor guy. He didn’t find him annoying or an idiot, just accepted the things Reggie didn’t know or get with grace and explain them, and was as easily excited about the things Reggie loved as he was. 

That was probably when they started trusting Willie with a little bit more. They stopped shooing him out of rooms when Alex got shaky, let him stay and hold Reggie through flares, stopped keeping an eye on him when he spoke to Julie. 

Bobby and Luke followed quickly, but they were still careful; they made sure he was gone for anything worse than pacing, but they communicated more, hung out with him, made sure it was clearly a concern-about-Alex thing, not a we-don’t-trust-you thing. They invited him to band practices, for family dinners, to hangouts with Julie. 

——

“Hey, Alex, can you hear me?” Luke overheard Willie’s voice coming from the den and poked his head in to make sure he wasn’t needed. 

Willie was crouched at least a foot away from Alex, whose hands were shaking, breathing raspy and quick. 

Alex’s hands fluttered next to his throat, breaths becoming quicker and more audible. “I-I can’t.. I can’t..”

“Hey, hey, you don’t gotta speak, I just need to ask you a couple things. Can you tap the table to let me know that’s okay?” 

Alex nodded curtly and tapped the table, shoulders shaking. 

“That’s great, man. You told me the other day that Julie and Ray are best for helping you with panic attacks, so do you have a preference? Can you tap the table once for Julie, twice for Ray, and three times for whoever I run into first?” Willie asked, keeping his distance and staying way calmer than Luke had been the first time he’d seen Alex panicking. 

Alex tapped the table twice, and Willie nodded easily and stood up. “Would you like a glass of water? One tap for yes, two for no.” 

_ Tap _ .

“Can you breathe or would you like the window opening?” 

_ Tap.  _

“Awesome sauce.” Willie kept up a steady stream of chatter as he opened the windows, then waved at Luke as he skidded out of the den, expression going from relaxed to stressed in a heartbeat. 

Luke moved into the room. “Hey, Lexi. Willie’s just going to get Ray for you. He’s pretty awesome, huh? He’s handling this like a pro. I guess he musta dealt with someone having panic attacks before, it must’ve taken us ages to learn to help.” He heard footsteps thudding towards them and moved to make room for Ray, trying to keep talking until he was there. 

“Alex, mijo.” Ray nodded for him to leave as soon as he walked in, smiling reassuringly. 

Once outside with Willie, he sagged against the wall. 

“You okay, man?” Willie asked him carefully.

“Yeah, s’just been a while since it’s been that mad, is all,” he explained, leading him to the living room once he’d caught up with himself. 

“Do you know what set Alex off?” He asked once he’d thrown himself onto the couch. “And seriously, you were awesome in there, have you dealt with that kind of thing before?” 

Willie shook his head, sitting with his legs thrown over the side of the armchair. “I’m not sure, sorry. Just kinda came on. And yeah, my younger sibling has panic attacks quite often. They’re a little different, but ‘Lex had already ran through the main stuff.”

“Yeah, well at least you didn’t try kissing him,” Luke spat, opening his arms up to Julie as she slipped into the room. “Hey, Jules.”

“Hi, Luke.” She smiled and laid down next to him, wrapped his arm around herself. “Is Alex okay?” 

“Ray’s got him.” Luke nodded. “Willie couldn’t think of anything specific that triggered it, so I guess we’ll have to wait and see.”

Julie nodded. “You okay, Willie?” 

Luke turned to see Willie looking an odd mix of confused and annoyed. “Woah, dude. You good?” 

“Uh. Can we just cycle back? To where you said at least I didn’t try to kiss him? Like, uh, someone did?” Willie asked, eyebrows drawn together. 

“Oh shit.” Luke nodded and shifted slightly to hug Julie tighter and speak without getting her hair in his mouth. “Alex’s ex boyfriend. A year ago, maybe? Thought that was the best course of action? We’re not entirely sure why.” 

“He tried to kiss someone who couldn’t breathe,” Willie said flatly. “ _ Why?”  _

Luke shrugged. “He didn’t respect Reggie, so he was obviously a terrible person. Alex didn’t see him for very long, but he did threaten to bite his tongue off as he broke up with him?”

“Damn right,” Bobby called from the doorway. “Is Alex okay? Do we have to fight another boyfriend?” He glanced at Julie. “Uh..not that I have ever fought any of Alex’s boyfriends before?” 

Reggie peered out over Bobby’s shoulder. “Luke isn’t doing his someone-upset-Alex-face, so I guess Willie must be fine.”

Luke scoffed. “I don’t have a someone-upset-Alex-face.” 

“Well….” the boys said in unison, drawing their eyes together and frowning angrily. “You kinda do…”

“No that’s my someone-upset-someone-I-love-face,” Luke protested. “I do that for all of you.”

“Oh, no.” Reggie shook his head and shepherded Bobby over to the loveseat. “Your someone-upset-Bobby-face is this kind of smirk like you know someone’s about to get their jaw caved in.”

“And your someone-upset-Reggie-face is angrier than your-someone-upset-Alex-face, which is more protective,” Julie agreed from his arms.

“Traitor,” he hissed, poking her side gently.

“And your someone-upset-Julie-face is this kind of…” Bobby pursed his lips in thought. “Weird arson-delight but also rage expression. Like you’re gonna set the world on fire and use their bones as kindling.” 

“It’s Bobby’s favourite,” Reggie added.

“So anyways,” Luke intervened before the two could start squabbling. “Willie passed the final test-which-we-didn’t-know-we-had.” 

Willie blinked. “There were tests?” 

“Yeah, dude. That’s why we were kind of cold with you?” Luke tilted his head in confusion. 

“You…” Willie glanced between him, and Reggie and Bobby. “I’ve accidentally described Reggie as my brother to like five different people. Bobby and I have a full workout plan that we follow together. Luke, you fell asleep on top of me at movie night last week, buddy?” 

“...Huh.” 

Reggie shrugged. “Maybe we knew subconsciously that you were awesome, we just thought we were waiting to make sure you didn’t do something really stupid.”

“Like try to fix a panic disorder with your tongue,” Bobby agreed. 

Julie spoke up. “I knew he was awesome from the start. Consciously. But none of y’all listen to me so…”

——

So Luke definitely hadn’t trusted Willie with all of Alex at first, but he was pretty sure that was reasonable all considered. Besides, in keeping such a close eye on Willie, he, Reggie and Bobby had accidentally stumbled on a pretty awesome new best friend, so he figured Alex wouldn’t kill them too harshly if it ever came to light that they’d been testing his boyfriend at every corner to make sure he was good enough.

He said as much to Julie tiredly, but she just stared at him, unimpressed. “He’s gonna kill you so hard, Luke.”

“Yeah, I know.” He nodded, and lay flat back on the bed. “But like, I’m pretty sure I’m allowed to love him and be concerned for him. That’s kind of our job.” 

“He’ll cut the strings of your guitar with a butter knife.” 

“ _ Fuck.”  _

  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Comments and kudos are much appreciated if you enjoyed it :))


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